I Guess Ann Coulter Has the Right Idea...
I have a confession to make. Just as former Python Terry Jones is losing patience with his American neighbors, I fear that I am losing patience with my neighbors as well, though not in a geographical sense. I am referring to my “neighbors” (as Jesus might employ the word) to the left of the political fence, wherever they may reside. I am embarrassed to admit that until very recently, I was under the naïve impression that I could win over my left-wing counterparts by remaining calm, articulate and respectful even in the face of vitriol. I assumed that even if I could not make my political opposites agree with me, I could still win their respect and perhaps cause them to better empathize with my side of a given argument (or at least my side of the fence in general). I can now say that I have never been more wrong about anything in my entire life.
I realize, of course, that some of my conservative and libertarian readers are shouting at their computer screens right now, saying “You just NOW figured that out?” but please understand, I’m still very young and (though decreasingly) idealistic. For the longest time, I truly did believe that the proverb about catching more flies with honey applied to the political realm. I am realizing more and more, however, that when Dale Carnegie instructed his readers to influence others by being polite and appealing to their beliefs, he obviously didn’t have today’s rabid left in mind. I think I am finally beginning to understand why people like Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh say such seemingly outrageous things. It isn’t that they’re jerks; it’s that they have been immersed in the political scene long enough to understand how the game is played. Appealing to the far left is absolutely pointless, because it entails trying to reason with the unreasonable. As I have been learning firsthand, leftists are going to use my words against me no matter what I say, regardless of how articulate, reasoned or polite.
Take Senator John McCain for example. Senator McCain has spent his entire political career trying to make everybody happy, hobnobbing with everyone from John Kerry and Ted Kennedy to Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush. He has spearheaded bi-partisan legislation and has often served as an unofficial mediator in left-right political disputes. However McCain must realize that even in spite of his best efforts, he is not going to please everybody. Everybody’s favorite anti-war mascot Cindy Sheehan recently smeared him, calling him a “warmonger,” after he was kind enough to meet with her. Now I usually ignore the silly “warmonger” insult (I’ve had it thrown in my own direction a few times, and I find it quite amusing), but for God’s sake, John McCain knows more about war than that pathetic publicity-whore will ever begin to conceive. I have often criticized Senator McCain for his policies, but I would never be so shameful as to go after his war record. I even came to his defense after a few left-wing journalists convinced me that George W. Bush had smeared his war record during the 2000 Republican Primaries (after checking the facts however, I learned that Bush actually had nothing to do with the attacks on McCain’s war record, but that’s what I get for reading the New York Times).
For Cindy Sheehan to flippantly dismiss him as a warmonger is just plain sad. This is a man who not only spent five-and-a-half years in a POW camp, but was shot down, beaten, tortured, and held in solitary confinement. And even on top of all of that, he turned down an early opportunity to be set free so that others could go before him. So if even a remarkable track record like that won’t prevent you from being branded “warmonger,” what hope do the rest of us have of satisfying our leftward friends? I mean, come on. It’s not like he’s John Kerry, having gone to war simply to jumpstart a political career (and because I am no longer trying to placate the left, I am not even going to say whether or not that comment was intended to be facetious).
Now for a couple of personal examples. The first involves a young woman from my neighborhood with whom I had gotten along quite well, until I made the mistake of telling her I was a Republican. I don’t even remember how it came up in conversation, really. I just remember the horrified look that swept over her face when I showed her my California Republican Card, bearing images of Arnold Schwarzenegger and George W. Bush. I knew she was a liberal; she speaks highly of the writings of Gore Vidal and has a “Live Better Vote Democrat” sticker on her car. But in all honesty, that never bothered me. I have always had liberal friends, and I have never been the type to choose my acquaintances according to ideology. This particular young woman, however, does not feel the same way apparently. Not only did she cease speaking to me after my shocking revelation (claiming that associating with me made her “part of the problem”), but she actually went so far as to contact other mutual acquaintances (the majority of whom were already aware of my political leanings) for the purpose of warning them about me. I wish I were making this up! Mind you, this is someone with whom I have never even shared a political discussion. All it took was hearing the word “Republican.”
My second example involves a prolonged exchange over the internet. A certain antagonistic prick (I couldn’t decide between “antagonistic prick” and “leftist filth-monger”) who posts in the Conservative Punk message boards has caused me to consider the existence of the missing link. Early on I was polite with him, taking the time to carefully consider his arguments and respond accordingly. If I felt he had a valid point, I would mention it. I would soon learn, however, that my articulations were falling on deaf ears. It seemed that no matter how many times I explained my positions, he persisted in isolating select quotes of mine, taking them out of context and using them to make arguments against me that I had already refuted. This infantile song-and-dance went on for a while before I finally realized it was best to ignore him. That seemed all well and good for a while, until he actually used my name in a non-debate forum to continue the exact same false accusations to which I had already responded repeatedly. THAT was when my patience faded away completely. I had snapped at him before for the understandable reasons listed above, but prior to this instance I usually held back and even continued to show kindness (what on earth was I thinking?). So after being used as an example for this idiot’s delusions in the non-debate forum, I responded by actually saying what was on my mind (not to start a debate, mind you, but merely to show my dissatisfaction with what he had done), forgetting that this person always has to have the last word, even when he has nothing to say. So he replied, I replied back, and then he tried turning it into a debate about Bill O’Reilly (hard to believe, but true). When I awoke to the insanity and refused to follow him in that direction, he claimed victory. Typical. Just like the schizophrenic who thinks everyone else is crazy.
But why are these examples important? Because I believe they are pivotal illustrations as to why I have been so foolish in bending over backwards to please everyone. The moral of the story is, you aren’t going to please everyone no matter who you are or how hard you try, so don’t bother! Chances are, I won’t be writing any more articles defending Howard Dean, nor will I be digressing in the middle of a thought to apologize to any left-wingers who might be offended by my musings. In addition, I have removed my link to the Huffington Post. Hell, I never liked that site anyway. Sorry Arianna, you’re a brilliant woman and all, but I’m through trying to be “openminded.” If my writings offend any of you, then you can suck my left testicle. I am not John McCain, I am not Ben Stein, and frankly I couldn’t care less how much my views disgust you. I am starting to realize that Ann Coulter really does have the right idea. Left-wingers are going to use my words against me no matter what, so I might as well just give them something to scream about. With that said, I think we should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity.
I have a confession to make. Just as former Python Terry Jones is losing patience with his American neighbors, I fear that I am losing patience with my neighbors as well, though not in a geographical sense. I am referring to my “neighbors” (as Jesus might employ the word) to the left of the political fence, wherever they may reside. I am embarrassed to admit that until very recently, I was under the naïve impression that I could win over my left-wing counterparts by remaining calm, articulate and respectful even in the face of vitriol. I assumed that even if I could not make my political opposites agree with me, I could still win their respect and perhaps cause them to better empathize with my side of a given argument (or at least my side of the fence in general). I can now say that I have never been more wrong about anything in my entire life.
I realize, of course, that some of my conservative and libertarian readers are shouting at their computer screens right now, saying “You just NOW figured that out?” but please understand, I’m still very young and (though decreasingly) idealistic. For the longest time, I truly did believe that the proverb about catching more flies with honey applied to the political realm. I am realizing more and more, however, that when Dale Carnegie instructed his readers to influence others by being polite and appealing to their beliefs, he obviously didn’t have today’s rabid left in mind. I think I am finally beginning to understand why people like Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh say such seemingly outrageous things. It isn’t that they’re jerks; it’s that they have been immersed in the political scene long enough to understand how the game is played. Appealing to the far left is absolutely pointless, because it entails trying to reason with the unreasonable. As I have been learning firsthand, leftists are going to use my words against me no matter what I say, regardless of how articulate, reasoned or polite.
Take Senator John McCain for example. Senator McCain has spent his entire political career trying to make everybody happy, hobnobbing with everyone from John Kerry and Ted Kennedy to Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush. He has spearheaded bi-partisan legislation and has often served as an unofficial mediator in left-right political disputes. However McCain must realize that even in spite of his best efforts, he is not going to please everybody. Everybody’s favorite anti-war mascot Cindy Sheehan recently smeared him, calling him a “warmonger,” after he was kind enough to meet with her. Now I usually ignore the silly “warmonger” insult (I’ve had it thrown in my own direction a few times, and I find it quite amusing), but for God’s sake, John McCain knows more about war than that pathetic publicity-whore will ever begin to conceive. I have often criticized Senator McCain for his policies, but I would never be so shameful as to go after his war record. I even came to his defense after a few left-wing journalists convinced me that George W. Bush had smeared his war record during the 2000 Republican Primaries (after checking the facts however, I learned that Bush actually had nothing to do with the attacks on McCain’s war record, but that’s what I get for reading the New York Times).
For Cindy Sheehan to flippantly dismiss him as a warmonger is just plain sad. This is a man who not only spent five-and-a-half years in a POW camp, but was shot down, beaten, tortured, and held in solitary confinement. And even on top of all of that, he turned down an early opportunity to be set free so that others could go before him. So if even a remarkable track record like that won’t prevent you from being branded “warmonger,” what hope do the rest of us have of satisfying our leftward friends? I mean, come on. It’s not like he’s John Kerry, having gone to war simply to jumpstart a political career (and because I am no longer trying to placate the left, I am not even going to say whether or not that comment was intended to be facetious).
Now for a couple of personal examples. The first involves a young woman from my neighborhood with whom I had gotten along quite well, until I made the mistake of telling her I was a Republican. I don’t even remember how it came up in conversation, really. I just remember the horrified look that swept over her face when I showed her my California Republican Card, bearing images of Arnold Schwarzenegger and George W. Bush. I knew she was a liberal; she speaks highly of the writings of Gore Vidal and has a “Live Better Vote Democrat” sticker on her car. But in all honesty, that never bothered me. I have always had liberal friends, and I have never been the type to choose my acquaintances according to ideology. This particular young woman, however, does not feel the same way apparently. Not only did she cease speaking to me after my shocking revelation (claiming that associating with me made her “part of the problem”), but she actually went so far as to contact other mutual acquaintances (the majority of whom were already aware of my political leanings) for the purpose of warning them about me. I wish I were making this up! Mind you, this is someone with whom I have never even shared a political discussion. All it took was hearing the word “Republican.”
My second example involves a prolonged exchange over the internet. A certain antagonistic prick (I couldn’t decide between “antagonistic prick” and “leftist filth-monger”) who posts in the Conservative Punk message boards has caused me to consider the existence of the missing link. Early on I was polite with him, taking the time to carefully consider his arguments and respond accordingly. If I felt he had a valid point, I would mention it. I would soon learn, however, that my articulations were falling on deaf ears. It seemed that no matter how many times I explained my positions, he persisted in isolating select quotes of mine, taking them out of context and using them to make arguments against me that I had already refuted. This infantile song-and-dance went on for a while before I finally realized it was best to ignore him. That seemed all well and good for a while, until he actually used my name in a non-debate forum to continue the exact same false accusations to which I had already responded repeatedly. THAT was when my patience faded away completely. I had snapped at him before for the understandable reasons listed above, but prior to this instance I usually held back and even continued to show kindness (what on earth was I thinking?). So after being used as an example for this idiot’s delusions in the non-debate forum, I responded by actually saying what was on my mind (not to start a debate, mind you, but merely to show my dissatisfaction with what he had done), forgetting that this person always has to have the last word, even when he has nothing to say. So he replied, I replied back, and then he tried turning it into a debate about Bill O’Reilly (hard to believe, but true). When I awoke to the insanity and refused to follow him in that direction, he claimed victory. Typical. Just like the schizophrenic who thinks everyone else is crazy.
But why are these examples important? Because I believe they are pivotal illustrations as to why I have been so foolish in bending over backwards to please everyone. The moral of the story is, you aren’t going to please everyone no matter who you are or how hard you try, so don’t bother! Chances are, I won’t be writing any more articles defending Howard Dean, nor will I be digressing in the middle of a thought to apologize to any left-wingers who might be offended by my musings. In addition, I have removed my link to the Huffington Post. Hell, I never liked that site anyway. Sorry Arianna, you’re a brilliant woman and all, but I’m through trying to be “openminded.” If my writings offend any of you, then you can suck my left testicle. I am not John McCain, I am not Ben Stein, and frankly I couldn’t care less how much my views disgust you. I am starting to realize that Ann Coulter really does have the right idea. Left-wingers are going to use my words against me no matter what, so I might as well just give them something to scream about. With that said, I think we should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity.
posted by Kris Avalon at
4:23 PM
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3 Comments
