Not Nickelodeon Too!!!



I like Nickelodeon. In fact, I'll admit that when it comes to TV shows, I'm like a little kid. Spongebob, Fairly Odd Parents, Drake & Josh, Jimmy Neutron, All That, Rugrats...I'm secure enough in my manhood to admit that I totally dig that stuff. I eat it up. I was even pissed off when they canceled Hey Arnold! With that said, it should come as no surprise that I often flip over to Nick just to see what's on.

Well tonight I did just that, during that half hour of limbo between the Simpsons and Family Guy when Fox is airing "The War At Home" (which I can't stand), and imagine my surprise when I saw not Drake Bell, not Spongebob Squarepants, but one of the head honchos over at FAIR, interviewed as part of a Nick News report. It was a short segment, part of some top ten countdown about what concerns kids about television. This particular segment was regarding bias in media.

That's a fair (pardon the pun) topic for discussion, and it warms my heart to know that young kids are aware and concerned about this phenomenon, but what upset me is the fact that FAIR is a shining example of everything that is wrong with the media today. I'm not suggesting that they don't have a place in society; I think right and left leaning watchdog groups are beneficial because they each hold the other side accountable, but to use such a watchdog group as a source analyzing general media bias is just ridiculous. It's like hiring a Zionist to give a balanced lecture on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Can you imagine the outcry if Nick News had instead interviewed Bernard Goldberg? I think a few liberals would be more than a little steamed, and understandably so. There are hundreds of reputable journalists and plenty of non-partisan organizations that could have been used. I mean, honestly, was the Pew Research Center closed for renovation?

John Stossel (a biased reporter) was right when he referred to FAIR as a far left organization. I visit their website regularly to see what's going on, and I don't think I've ever seen an article denouncing left-wing bias or inaccuracy. In fact, I checked their archives for coverage of the memogate scandal, and the only complaints I could find about Dan Rather were charges that he is TOO PRO WAR. You can't make this shit up. If Bill O'Reilly had done the equivalent of what Dan Rather did with the apocryphal memos, the journalists at FAIR would have ripped him a new one and devoted an entire chapter to it in "The Oh Really Factor Volume 2." And for the record, the FAIR archives are surprisingly lacking in coverage about Mary Mapes as well.

And I repeat, this isn't anything against FAIR itself. As I said before, they do serve a purpose in society, and bias isn't necessarily a bad thing if you're straight about it and it's intended to serve a specific goal. Hell, I certainly don't pretend to be unbiased, but then again, I wouldn't recruit myself to give a non-partisan lecture about any specific topic either. I would at least hope to be beside someone who disagrees with me for the sake of balance.

Anyway, getting back to the Nick News report. This gentleman (I wish I could remember his name, some old guy with a white beard), who seemed amicable enough, spoke briefly about the crucial need for honesty and integrity in the media, and it sort of felt like I was watching Eminem give a lecture about how we need to end domestic violence. He spoke about how we never had an honest debate about the war in Iraq and how most of the news articles leading up to the war were in favor of the conflict (citing, suspiciously, a report from his own organization, and remember, his organization thinks Dan Rather is too pro-war, which should tell you something). He was absolutely right when he said that a big part of the problem is the profit-based nature of journalism. I couldn't have agreed with him more there. Most of the journalists I know here in LA are wealthy left-wing socialites who scream about the rich-poor gap while using their laptops as tax write-offs.

And what about Linda Ellerbee, the lovely, grandmother-like Nick News host? I've been watching her on that channel since I was a kid. She taught me about how children live in other countries, and how to respond if some pervert ever tries to abduct me. I have great respect and admiration for her. Still, this isn't the first time she has used questionable material on her show. A few years ago she championed the gay rights movement alongside Rosie O'Donnell, explaining to a circle of children how there are many different kinds of families, and all are equal. I basically agreed with her there, but felt that the subject matter was highly innapropriate for ten-year-olds given its sensitive nature and differing values regarding the topic. I just figured that was something that parents should deal with.

So to provide some much needed balance on Nickelodeon, I had an idea. How about: "The O'Reilly Factor For Kids," THE TV SERIES! Airing weekday mornings on Nick Jr. Listen to Bill tackle the tough topics, like how to deal with the pinheads at school, how to be slim and trim just like Bill, and how to cope with your left-wing fifth grade science teacher.

Then let's see how long before the letters start pouring in...